I have been so overwhelmed with the love and support my family and friends have shown me and I surely wouldn't be able to stay so positive with out them. All the prayers and fasting and positive thoughts, Heavenly Father is answering prayers.
MRI went good. It was just hard to stay still in one position for an hour. I took Lorazapam or however you spell it so I fell in and out of sleep during it but wasn't as loopy as I thought I'd be when done, thus no video. Really, it would have been pretty boring folks.
The oncologist said that I will get through this. That was such a relief just to hear a doctor say that. I feel so much lighter and happier and hopeful. He said the youngest person he knew of to get breast cancer was 15. 15 people!! DO YOUR BREAST EXAMS!!!!! But 1-3% of his patients are my age, in his career. He's going to take my case to a oncologist conference to see if it would be better for me to get a double mastectomy because of my age and chance of reocurrance or a lumpectomy and mastectomy later if I need to. Then after surgery I'll start chemo.
I see a Radiation Therapy oncologist tomorrow and plastic surgeon on Tuesday. Then by the 11th the board should have their recommendation of which surgery is best back to my breast surgeon and I'll meet with her then. She does surgeries on Thursdays so I could have surgery on the 13th or the next week, but probably the 13th.
On the 21st I'll meet back with my oncologist to talk about chemo. Just because there maybe some cancer hiding somewhere we can't see and to lessen my chance of getting it in the future.
I'm nervous about surgery but I know I can do it and I have to so why worry. I was thinking about doing the double mastectomy just to cut my risk and amount of surgeries I'll have to get done. I'm not looking forward to breast reconstruction though. I know I'll want something done but I don't think I want implants. I've heard they feel foreign, are constricting and hard. But then again that would just be a reminder of what I over came, and I'd look dang good. :) There's a reconstruction procedure called DIEP which sounds like something I'd like better, click here to read more about this procedure. My plastic surgeon does do microsurgery but doesn't perform this type of reconstruction, I'll have to ask why when I meet him. But there are doctors in Portland, I've heard, that do. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
This next part of my post is very personal to me, but I feel the need to share it.
Before all this happened I was really having a hard time with my faith. My testimony was really struggling. I didn't even know if I believed a God was out there. I wanted to believe but didn't want to just follow blindly. I think Heavenly Father was just waiting for me to ask to show me miracles. I was just afraid of what he'd show me.
So one day, not too long ago, I asked. I asked for more faith, for me to get my testimony back. I told him I was afraid of what he'd show me but I needed to know.
Then I took that shower. And for some strange reason decided to wash with shampoo instead of the bar. (This is so too much information probably) I usually wash with a bar of soap in my hand. But this time, without realizing it, I was prompted to wash with nothing in my hand so I could feel the lump, Miracle #1. Listening to the Holy Spirit to have it checked out even though in the back of my mind I felt silly being so young, Miracle #2. Not waiting a week to get in to see a new doctor and just going to urgent care, Miracle #3. Getting an mammogram and ultrasound that same day, Miracle #4. Getting the biopsy done so fast, Miracle #5. Doctor telling me over the phone so I'd be composed during the appointment where he went over the diagnosis so I could have my cousin there and questions ready, Miracle #6. Having a physician for a Bishop, Miracle #7. Priesthood blessings (where the Bishop blessed me that I'll be made whole and see miracles), Miracle #8. A cousin who has beat cancer just recently and can give me advice and support, Miracle #9. Another cousin who worked as an assistant in a breast surgeon's office, Miracle #10. Moving back home to be near family during this time, Miracle #11. Heavenly Father answering my family and friends prayers and fasts with a good MRI, Miracle #12. Getting my case to the oncologist conference in time to get a recommendation back by my appointment with my breast surgeon on the 11th, Miracle #13. No to mention being able to move my MRI and Radiation Therapy oncologist appointment up a week, Miracle #14! Okay Heavenly Father I hear you :)
I know my journey's not over yet, I'm excited to see what other miracles are in store for us. I know Heavenly Father answers prayers, that he is out there listening and loving and caring.
Thank you, my family (and friends, I include you in family), for all your love, prayers, positive thoughts and fasting. I am so grateful for all of you and truly love you all. I feel so blessed to have you all in my life, I feel so blessed to have such a good news given to me today!
Now I can enjoy my New Year holiday!
And I've been thinking I want to get my hair cut like this before I start chemo, since my hair will be falling out any way. I'm really excited actually to get it cut like this. Hm. Maybe I'll do it even sooner so I can have it cute like this longer. And maybe I'll try a new hair color. My kids are going to be so used to me changing my hair so much that when I am bald they'll think it's "just another phase Mom's going through" :).